Written by: Abeeda
They say that all you need is love, but in reality, love alone cannot make a relationship thrive and grow.
Too many confuse the notion of love with the whims of lust; the heightened desire, the constant need for connection, the excitement of a new prospective relationship, a future filled with this feeling . . .but for every single one of us who are, or have been, in a long term relationship, we know that lust passes, and with it follows the need for endurance in love and commitment to a partner.
Therein lies the struggle.
Love needs to be understood as a reality, and not as the falsified notion that Hollywood feeds into our psyche. My understanding of love is based around this quote:
“I saw that you were perfect, and so I loved you. Then I saw that you were not perfect and I loved you even more.” — Angelita Lim
Lustful love deludes us into believing the one we love is faultless. Our eyes overlook their many flaws and we only see those aspects of them that bring our heart joy. As time passes, and as normality settles in, the devil takes to his work, and we become less tolerant of those things that were once endearing. This is where true love lies.
We do not abandon loved ones as soon as we begin to struggle to tolerate their nuances. There is not a single person who is perfect. We are all made up of a mosaic of flaws; when pieced together, they form us, unique and beautiful in our own imperfections. This can be difficult, but as is stated in our Prophetic traditions, when a flaw is noted in our loved ones, we should immediately remind ourselves of a trait that we adore in them. Regular practice of this concept adds strength and forbearance to relationships.
Love is a proclamation of commitment; it is a promise to stand by someone, no matter what hurdles may come your way.
Disclaimer: this article is a generalized view of commitment and love, it does not apply to relationships where a partner is abusive and threatening.