Written by: Seada
A child who does not receive appropriate attention from their primary caregivers tends to exhibit attention-seeking or insecure behavior. They act like other children (in speech or action) to feel a sense of belonging and acceptance. We often ‘punish’ negative behaviors (such as talking back or throwing a temper tantrum) that surface when things do not go the child’s way. But often, caregivers fail to understand the child’s need for attentions stems from their own inattentiveness. Children in need of attention may act out because they are unable to articulate their needs in words.
The same concept holds true in adult relationships. When one partner deprives the other of attention in the form of kindness, acknowledgement, appreciation, love, or acts of service, the other partner begins to feel resentful or isolated. The neglected partner may seek attention from someone else who is willing to show appreciation, recognition, and love. The reality is that all human beings want to know that someone loves them.
How to show your partner you really do care for them:
- Give them attention
- Get to know them
We stop getting to know our partners when we become too comfortable. This is a danger zone. When we are too comfortable, what we are indirectly saying is “Take me as I am, whether you like it or not.” This attitude smacks of arrogance, which is highly destructive, unappreciative, and inconsiderate. It is never appropriate to assume that our partner should just take us as we are because that in itself is a flaw.
When our pain is far too great to articulate, the need for attention screams louder than the realization of pain.