Committing to yourself
Written by: Chereen
Maybe your biggest issue with commitment is your inability to commit to yourself.
It is quite possible that you are your own enemy. You let yourself down because you do not respect yourself. This may or may not have resulted from others hurting you, causing you to devalue yourself. It could also be that you put yourself last in everything. Pleasing others is great, but something has to fuel your energy. Your inability to take care of your own self makes you at odds with your inner peace.
There is also a chance that you never forgave and choose not to forgive yourself for mistakes that you have made. You beat yourself up, and as a result, you leave your heart barely beating. Sometimes when you’re really angry you turn in to ice, hurting others in the process without always realizing it.
You fear commitment. This comes out in your relationships. You value your friends but you don’t like to keep them too close. The topic of love is flattering, but the effort that it takes to keep the love going has you running in the opposite direction. Does it come as a surprise? Of course not, when the person that you love the least is yourself. It becomes a challenge for you to love someone else. That does not mean that you do not make sacrifices or that you do not care. It’s just difficult to give of your heart when you do not even attempt to unlock it.
Sometimes it becomes easy to act out of convenience. It is easier to avoid matters such as your heart and your lack of commitment now, because you find ways to keep yourself busy during the day. However, come nighttime, your thoughts trickle down in your mind and leave you realizing you need to change. You struggle with insomnia for a reason. You have trouble falling asleep because your heart is not content. It is true that for you to feel at ease then you need to change the way that you make your heart feel. You lack communication with yourself, and as a result, you lack the ability to feel and express happiness.
You are not perfect, but why would you want to be? There are mistakes that you have made that leave you wishing you could reverse time, but these mistakes have a purpose. There are people you let in when you should have never opened the door, but they came for a reason. Life is full of lessons, and the more experiences you go through, the more opportunities you have to gain knowledge. These experiences are your opportunity to become wiser, and to learn more about yourself.
While you might be at odds with yourself, the only way you will sleep soundly and feel at ease is if you commit to yourself. Start by communicating with your heart. Get to know yourself. Slowly forgive yourself. Start a new chapter in your book, and fill it with ink that flows so smoothly. Begin a new journey with your heart, and if you mess up, remind yourself that you will never tear your pages apart. You are growing, you are learning. You are committing to yourself. My dear, your own best friend is what you are so gloriously becoming.