Q & A: Cutting out a friend

Written by: Chereen

Q: Hi Chereen. I hate to keep bothering you with questions, but this one has been on my mind lately. I feel bad for cutting out that toxic friend in my life. I sometimes see her mom, and my other friend makes me feel bad for removing her from my life. I don’t regret cutting her out. I just feel like she hates me. But I felt like I did the right thing. And she just doesn’t understand I guess. I never see or speak to her. Nor do I want to. In fact, I don’t like her or miss her at all. I just feel like I hurt her. And I’m scared that someone might hurt me the way I hurt her and not feel any remorse like I don’t feel remorse.

A: Hello friend. You’re definitely not bothering me! I enjoy answering your questions. Sometimes it has to happen this way, where there is really no easy way out of ending a friendship. What you need to focus on is your intention, because that is what calms your conscience. What made you end the friendship? You say it is because she was toxic. From previous messages, it seems as though she was negatively effecting you and it was hurting you to have her around. What you can do is remain kind and have her as an acquaintance. There’s no need to wipe out any traces of her from your life. If your friends mention her, say positive things. If you see her mom, ask how she’s doing and send your regards. There’s no need to be hostile about it. End the friendship in a sweet way. Eventually, it’ll get easier. The end of any friendship always starts out bitter, whether on one end or both ends.

There’s always the possibility of getting hurt, whether it’s by a stranger or a close friend. It’s inevitable. Life is full of lessons and this is just one of them. There’s no need to connect the two together, especially when the reason you ended the friendship was for you to gain positivity and be a better person.

Take it easy. Don’t over think it. Keep your intentions well meant. Stay kind.

Sincerely,

Chereen