Q+A: How can i support my sister?

Written by: Chereen

Q: Assalamu aleikum.

I have a sister who gets angry sometimes and she won’t say why. I do not know if she has mood swings, or not. She can be like that for weeks, and I am the type of person who might ask what is wrong with you once or twice and if I see that you don’t want to share; I let you be.

Do you have any tips of how I should help her as a sister?

A: Wa Alaykum Assalam!

So, it seems as though your sister has her own set of circumstances that are affecting her mood. You don’t just get angry for no reason, there must be a cause to the effect. They’re mood swings that are swinging in the direction of anger.

It’s clear that you genuinely care about your sister, so maybe being accommodating will help her. Just be supportive and kind. If you ask and she doesn’t share, then let her know if she has something going on or is having a tough day that you’re there if she needs anything.

Acknowledge that you can tell she’s angry or upset, don’t say angry but say “I noticed you’re not your awesome self, is anything bothering you? If you ever need to talk or vent, I’m here.” Don’t be overbearing but be nice and check in on her.

Eventually, she’ll either open up, her mood will improve since she realizes people care, or she’ll stop transferring her anger incorrectly and deal with what’s bothering her. Or maybe she’ll do all 3, and unfortunately, she might remain stagnant. If she does, then you can eventually sit her down and be direct with her about her anger. She might not want to hear it, but it’s necessary if you want to help her. Only do that if she’s not responsive to your support.

You’re an awesome sister and she’s blessed to have you. Keep doing you, because you’re awesome at it.