Q+A: I lost her

Written by: Chereen

Dear Chereen,

Assalamualaikum, I’m at my lowest point in life. So basically, I knew this girl and she is a good muslimah. My intention was to get married to her. But things didn’t turn out the way we wanted. I basically screwed things up! I took her for granted. And now I’m filled with remorse and guilt. I never took good care of the relationship. Now she’s choosing to move on. Now I can’t take it, it was like a tight slap to my face. I feel so sinful. Do you have any advice for this broken hearted?

Dear Anonymous,

Wa Alaykum Assalam, as tough as it might be to hear, sometimes it’s better for your heart to break sooner rather than later. I do feel like you’re being really hard on yourself and taking all the blame. Although it might be that you are responsible for a lot of it not working out, she is also responsible. Sometimes no matter how hard you try to make things work out, they just won’t work. And it isn’t because of small things you did that accumulated. It’s because it is what’s written and you can’t really rewrite or control what’s meant to happen.

My advice is to not be so hard on yourself. Had she been meant to be yours, then she might have forgiven you and come back in your life for a second opportunity to do things the right way. You like her right now, but what’s to say that later you might not have chemistry to keep you going? Look at it as your heart being protected from bigger damage. Heartbreak hurts, but it’s your hearts way of being cleansed from what doesn’t belong in it.

Repent, forgive yourself, and learn from this situation. It’s meant to be a lesson that will help you later in life. If your intentions are sincere, then you should have no doubt that the right girl will come into your life and you will be able to do things right. But maybe now isn’t the time, maybe right now you need to focus on regaining yourself. You might want to become your own best friend, and in doing so, you’ll learn how to never let yourself down.

Take care of your heart. We all make mistakes, but our mistakes should not define us. They’re meant to teach us a lesson, and as a result, make us better people.