Written by: Marissa
You will never be enough. You will never be enough if you measure yourself by societal standards of body acceptance. You will always be too thin, too fat, too vocal, too quiet, or too much in the eyes of your peers. We live in a world that thrives on insecurities. The feeling of “never being enough” is a trap for continuous loneliness. But in truth, you can always, always, be enough for yourself. Being enough for yourself is a mark of accepting your true self and femininity.
I have never experienced a freedom more beautiful than internal body confidence. Body confidence is embracing your body as it is in this moment. The idea is being centered with every flaw and imperfection/perfection, and accepting the body as a complete masterpiece. The ultimate freedom starts with setting personal standards for beauty.
We cannot mold our bodies into something unnatural. Natural femininity shapes the body in its own way. We need to embrace this universal truth within ourselves: We were made to nourish, not to starve. For the purposes of reflection, I want to give an example of a situation I experienced. I went through a period of being personally undervalued; I looked at life through the lenses of dysmorphic vision. I was not identifying with my soul, but with my obsession over physical appearance. I was attached to the outer appearance and found pleasure in a false egotistical vision. To be valued, I shrank myself from small to extremely thin, getting a high off removing “unneeded” weight. My mark of worthiness was defined by a scale’s number. Self-soothing came in the form of excitement over shedding weight. Over time, a smaller jeans size, thinning hair, and a pale face became my trophies of “worthiness.”
But if fitting into societal beauty standards meant flirting with death, I would rather have an open love affair with life. Deciding to make a change was the beginning of forging my own beauty.
The process of healing required looking into my inner self. What did I find there that was truly beautiful? Was I fitting my own standards, or constantly subjected to the opinions of others? How did I want to live as my best self? I asked myself these questions as a daily practice of intentional living. A period of deep pondering required journaling my thoughts, which reacquainted me with my higher self. I meditated on them, choosing to live my new truths. To live a beautiful life is to live a life shaped by individual integrity. Integrity and I walked hand in hand, happy with my new life path. Every step with integrity was a step in the right direction.
Finding the feeling of liberation took time, but there was beauty in the process. The process brought a re-discovery of myself. Self-discovery involved loving myself, as is, in the moment. A friend told me situations must go from bad to worse for lessons to form. But for me, the lesson was in the process. The ending of this chapter was followed by new pages full of beauty, grace, and power, written in life’s perfect penmanship.
If you take away one thing from this personal reflection, let it be this: Make a choice to feel good. Make a choice to make inward happiness a priority. Choose clothes that feel good. Eat foods that provide true nourishment. You are loved, supported, and guided on your path. Never fail at reminding yourself the process of existence is a living miracle.