Because anxiety.
Written by: Chereen
I know you’re not exaggerating when you say you could not get anything done.
Because anxiety.
Shall I say more? Or is one word enough?
And I guess maybe I should explain because some people will never regularly feel nervous and worried and consumed by unease about what’s to come in a second or maybe years.
It could be that you’re genetically predisposed, or what if it’s too much serotonin, or a traumatic experience that left you feeling like you could barely breathe, or maybe it’s a plethora of other things?
I know you’re not exaggerating when you say you could not get anything done.
And I know it’s debilitating. It’s a constant battle between you, your mind, your sanity, and your peace. You tell anxiety you’re getting help and it tells you “No, you’re not going to leave.” So, you sit and you ponder, you reflect as your mind wanders. Then you fight the urge to sit in the bed of thorns that has become your home for far too long, and you realize how much it hurts to be owned by anxiety and live in its throne.
So, you run as far as you can as you constantly look back with unease. And you say to yourself it can’t find me, but then you realize anxiety is trailing your breeze. It’s begging you to come home but you’re dragging yourself towards help.
You get there, and you realize that this is where you were meant. You breathe because you haven’t taken anything more than short breaths in far too long.
The work is just about to begin. Disappointment comes in waves, but it’s soon replaced with healing, as you realize you can’t get rid of your anxiety.
But you can control it.
And so hardship comes with ease, my dear. Hardship comes with ease.
You might fall prey to anxiety occasionally, but you now have the tools to heal you. You know that there is always potential for recovery.
If you have days where you can’t get anything done, remember how short your anxious breaths once were. As you inhale deeply, remember how far you have come.