Contradictions

Written by: Khadeja

I want to spend every waking moment of my life with you, but I also crave my own space.

I want to be the center of attention with all eyes on me like a performer in an act, yet I also prefer to keep things on the down low.

I want to be wise and dependable and provide support for everyone around me, but I also want to be carefree and childlike with no responsibilities whatsoever.

I want to be included in everything that is going on around me, but most times I end up retreating into my shell like a turtle.

I want to accomplish every goal, fulfill every dream, and be my own version of Superwoman. But I also crave a state of relaxation and a bit of sloth-like stagnation.

I want to live in a constant state of serenity; achieving a cool temperament regardless of the circus that surrounds me, but then I end up flipping out if the recycling isn’t sorted ‘properly’.

How does one become who they want to be when that person is so different from the current state?

The more I objectively observe my reactions, behaviors and mannerism the more I realize…I am THE contradiction.