Coping: Guilt and Grief

Written by: Marissa

As a life coach, I get a plethora of questions pertaining to various topics. For this post, I wanted to highlight something that’s asked on a regular basis. Many of my clients come to me for advice on dealing with the death of a loved one. Recently a young woman came to me after her father passed away. I have years of experience in this field. Her question is listed below this paragraph.I hope this question helps those dealing with a similar situation. How do you feel those who have passed away around you?

Dear Marissa,

Recently my father passed away and I have so much guilt. To the point where it overwhelms me. I feel like I have so much regret. Not enough time, not enough phone conversations, and constantly living far away from him. I feel like a horrible daughter. Do you think my dad knows how much I care? That I wanted to be there more. Do you think he was upset that I did not live closer? There are so many things left unsaid. Like I said, the guilt is unreal.

Thank you. Much love xx

Hello my friend,

Naturally, it is fact of human nature to regret some of the choices we make when our loved ones were living. First, offer yourself some genuine compassion for the situation.

Take a moment and recognize you are human. We are bound to make mistakes with loving relationships. However, when those we love pass, they still have the capability of feeling our love. On the other side, love always remains. Once someone passes, all guilt, anger, and frustration is removed. You can take a moment being at peace with yourself. They actively recognize the love given to them, and that (in itself) calls for an abundance of gratitude.

Our loved ones notices when someone they love is deeply struggling. They understand and empathize with you and your guilt. Again, they want us to know there is absolutely no reason to feel this way. Forgiveness towards yourself is a large part of healing. Find comfort in knowing that your loved one actively forgives you for your shortcomings. They are capable of hearing every thought, word, and prayer directed towards them. Talk to your father, tell him everything you are feeling and find comfort in his everlasting gentleness. I can promise you this will provide an ethereal peace of the heart.

Our loved ones are always around us. Through signs, prayers, and moments of joy – this is their way of saying; “I am here.”

-Marissa