Deceptive Emotions

Written by: Abeeda

“I sat with my anger long enough to realize its name was grief”

I don’t know if any of you have experienced something similar, but when we were dealing with the slow decline and loss of our grandmother to dementia, I found myself on-edge and easily irritated. This was unlike my usual nature; I’m generally a calm person, but I knew from my reaction to this experience that I wasn’t coping.

I viewed my anger and frustration just as they appeared; but that just didn’t make sense to me… I wasn’t angry… or was I?! The feeling just left me increasingly disillusioned.

For months I struggled with this, until only recently; one year on, I came across the quote above. Suddenly it made sense. It was grief all along. My frustration and anger were a manifestation of the loss that was playing out right before my eyes.

It was grief.

Coming to this realization has brought with it some sense of peace. I felt emotionally alien to myself during that time but being able to come to terms with the reality of the emotional journey has helped the healing process.

©️Abeeda