Losing/Fighting for Myself: Part 2
Written by: Nadrah
It was over a latte, just a day after I wrote “Losing Myself.” It was after an errand I had to run, and through a meeting that I had to attend with my husband.
Believe it or not, a latte is my mandatory daily fix because I would like to think it helps me go through the day without much dread. Also because I am not good at handling caffeine withdrawal.
Or perhaps it’s just that I like the idea of a “pick me up” drink that can pump me up for the days when my motivation decides to go out for a morning jog and never come back.
See, I used to just write and act without much thought. But now, I have mastered the art of being weighed down by thoughts. Or should I say, by my self-doubts?
I used to journal my day without second thoughts, but now I’m just too consumed with my words coming out right and ahchieving perfect results, without allowing myself space to make mistakes.
And maybe I realized this as a result of my previous post, in which I gave myself permission to just be myself once again. To let all my thoughts just flow without editing them in my head, over and over again.
So there I was, sitting in a middle of a brainstorming session of dreamers who believe wholeheartedly in their dreams and in finding ways to make them realized. Dreamers who were not afraid to chase their visions and whom I knew in my heart were sincerely dedicated to making a difference in one way or another.
Dreamers who had stories to tell.
Sitting in that brainstorming session–half by chance but mostly planned by God–I realized I was right where I belonged. In a room full of dreamers, just like me.
But what set them apart was how they were somewhat afraid of their own dreams and risks, yet they still believed in their dreams and were willing to just go forth to create them.
So here it is, the first result of me being and doing. My creation made while half listening to their conversation and half delved in my own thoughts.
“Better Latte than Never (ending possibilities)”–pun intended.
It is not a perfect art piece because it is what we are, a work in progress.
If only we could allow ourselves to learn.
Struggling and aspiring,