PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR PARTNER
Written by: Seada
How do we begin to turn towards our partners? Dr’s Julie and John Gottman (founders of the Gottman Institute) profess relationship improvement begins with paying attention to your partner.
Simple gestures are bids for connection. Such as, holding the door open, offering a smile, complimenting your partner, and making eye contact. Eventually it helps develop a strong belief “my partner is paying attention to me!”
Below is a randomized set of questions of bids to support you to turn towards instead of away:
O What does a bid mean to me?
O How am I already engaging in bids with my partner?
o Do I need to improve my skills for connection?
o What stops me from making bids?
o What is my desire for turning towards?
o Do I turn away more often than I turn towards?
o What does it feel like when my partner doesn’t turn towards me?
o How can I get better at turning towards?
Watch here how to easily improve your relationship!