Q+A: A broken heart

Written by: Chereen

Q: Dear Chereen,

What is the best way to move on and get over someone who broke your heart?

What can be done to stop thinking of them?

A: Dear Friend,

Two things I don’t suggest doing are mentioned in your first question.

Rather than moving on, your focus should be on moving forward. Instead of getting over them, your goal should be to get through them. What most people do is get over it and move on, but by doing this you bury your emotions and you do not deal with the heartbreak. That’s why the emotions rush in when you see them, because you didn’t resolve your pain, you just hid it.

My suggestion would be to allow yourself to feel the process of heartbreak. It’s not going to kill you, but it will ache. Allow yourself to be sad and hurt one day, okay the next day, overly emotional the following day. It helps to get rid of contact with them, and to erase any unnecessary memories.

If you want to stop thinking about them, turn the focus on yourself instead. So much time is wasted thinking rather than doing. Focus on being a person of purpose. Do things that make you feel good. Increase your acts of worship, do more volunteer work, get a pet if you’re able to, invest in a lot of self-care, practice yoga, and make it your goal to love yourself.

If you’re feeling down, be patient with yourself and treat yourself to something that will make you smile. You probably can’t stop thinking about them because at one point you thought you needed them to complete you. That’s where you went wrong. People are not meant to complete you, they’re meant to compliment you.

Take it easy. A broken heart needs time to heal. Gluing it together by moving on getting over it will only reopen the wound.

Accepting that your heart is broken and treating it with gentleness and care will ensure a full recovery.