Q+A: A way out

Written by: Chereen

Dear Chereen,

All my life I have been a top student; recently I have experienced some traumas and heartbreaks, which I overcame alhamdulillah. Now I am trying my best but still can’t achieve excellence because something always prevents me; it is like self-destruction, memories from the past, tears and pain; all of this comes out when I most need to concentrate. And I have this fear that my professional life will prevent me from ever finding a soulmate, as if success equals staying forever alone.

Dear Friend,

Although you have stated that you have overcome your trauma, I don’t feel that is the case. It appears that your recent experiences have been quite traumatic, because they have affected your ability to concentrate and be positive. I can’t say that it’s PTSD, but it’s definitely trauma from experiences that have hurt you. Maybe the way you overcame them was not right, and you must look over your healing process and start over. Healing from a trauma requires patience and time. It’s incredibly difficult to be patient with yourself, but you must be if you want to see the light at the end of the tunnel. If it persists, seeing a therapist can help you work through the past to become more present.

I can sit here and tell you that your thoughts about never finding a soulmate are not true, but it won’t matter unless you realize that it’s negative thinking that’s the result of multiple adversities. I feel that what you must do first is recognize your pain and accept it slowly and gently. Try not to reject yourself because you’re struggling, and when a panic episode takes place make sure to embrace yourself. Remember to breathe deeply often and focus on the present by reminding yourself constantly where you are now.

Excellence takes time to achieve, and if you start accepting yourself from now, you’ll get there when you need to. Remember that your struggles are a part of your success, without them you don’t understand the value of a long journey.

Sincerely,

Chereen.