Q+A: battling for submission
Written by: Chereen
I am a practicing Muslim; I pray, wear hijab, and stay away from haram. However, every time I pray I don’t feel a connection to God, I always feel negative thoughts while I pray. It drives me crazy because I am trying to talk to Allah but these thoughts get in the way and I start to get scared to pray.
I don’t like feeling this way, I thought prayer is supposed to make me feel better and erase all these negative thoughts (feeling disconnected/no love from God). I hate it. I try to have khushoo and take my time praying and talk to God; but it’s like I feel the devil in my head telling me bad thoughts about God 🙁
I hope I made sense.
Please help me.
It seems like this is a larger concern that cannot be resolved through words. I highly suggest seeing either a Muslim therapist or a trusted Imam to help you resolve the thoughts you are having.
It also sounds like “weswas”, and that’s something a Sheikh needs to help you with. You are in need of thought stopping therapy, in order to eliminate the phobia that strikes during prayer. I wonder, does it happen aside from prayer? I also feel like there is more to the story, as in circumstances that have caused you to think and feel this way.
Your heart seems quite heavy and needs to be unloaded. Your mind also seems quite burdened with many thoughts, so meeting with someone could alleviate the stress that you are experiencing.
Please understand that you’re not a bad person, and your efforts to pray do not go unnoticed. The fact that you messaged me tells me that you care about your relationship with your Creator.
InshaAllah this obstacle can be overcome. Be gentle on your soul, it needs your support now more than ever.