Q+A: Drained by Dad
Written by: Chereen
Q: What if your narcissistic relative is your father? I can definitely relate to this question. He basically tells me that because he’s my dad, God will be angry with me, and that all his Duas are answered (which they are not nice Duas). A part of me has tried so hard to fix things between us, but he makes it nearly impossible and I am so emotionally drained. I am so scared God will hate me for this though too.
A: While parents are incredibly important and valuable, you must remember that God knows everything and will judge accordingly. Just like you’re responsible for keeping good ties with your dad, he’s also responsible for loving you and maintaining good relations with you. I sense that you really want that relationship with your dad and there’s a lot of pain because you haven’t been able to attain it. Maybe he has a temper and speaks out of anger.
If your intentions are well meant and you do your best to make him happy, then let God be the judge. Do your part by being patient (which I know isn’t easy since you’re hurt) and be kind for the sake of God. I know that I have put an emphasis on God, but really that’s the only way you can be patient and not let everything your dad negatively says harm you. It helps to not respond when he makes Duaa against you and to simply say to him without him hearing “May God forgive you.”
Remember that your Lord is just. Just because he’s your dad doesn’t mean his Duaa is answered. God’s mercy prevails over His wrath. Take it easy on your heart. Don’t drain yourself. This might just be your trial, and if you deal with it correctly, you’ll learn a valuable life lesson. ❤️