Written by: Chereen
Q: Hello. Have you ever gotten in a fight with someone because you told them what was bothering you and instead of them apologizing/be understanding they find a way to make you feel bad about it, so you’re left regretting even saying anything?
A: Hey! I understand where you’re coming from. The reason you feel this way is because you opened up about the way you felt, and as a result your emotions were rejected. It does hurt when you confront someone in order to directly communicate and instead you’re left feeling worse than you did when you went in.
The truth is sometimes people will empathize and understand how you feel. They’ll be patient with your emotions and will work to improve the situation. Other times, they might initially be understanding but grow impatient and make you feel bad for opening up. There are also times where they’ll reject your feelings from the start and leave you wishing you never opened up. This tells you a lot about your relationship with someone, and how patient or understanding they are when it comes to you. Not everyone has the capacity to be empathetic, but it’s always an eye opener when circumstances like the one you mentioned takes place.
Take this as an opportunity to learn about your level of communication with this person. It could be an eye opener for you because you’ll better understand how you emotionally communicate with others. Do you think maybe they were shocked that you opened up and reacted that way? Let things simmer down and talk to them again. Try not to point fingers. Make it your goal to have a positive outcome. Take it easy! InshaAllah it’ll be alright. ??