Q+A: Feelings of Regret

Written by: Chereen

Dear Chereen,

I find myself between places – sometimes I’m on top of the world and others I feel as there’s nothing I can grasp onto.

As my relationship with Allah SWT gets better I’m starting to notice some things about myself that may be/have been toxic to the people around me. I know furthering my relationship with Allah SWT will allow me to become a better version of myself. But right now I feel very sad about these habits and scared that the ones I love will all leave me because of them.

On another note, I am an over thinker and when I have mentioned one or two traits to my friend they have told me I’m thinking too hard and it’s not like that at all – so why am I feeling great regret?

Sincerely,

N

Dear Friend,

So, when a person has a cold heart, they feel zero remorse for their past or present actions. They act without a care in the world about who they might hurt, and they regret little to nothing that comes of their words and actions. They might regret occasionally but it’s not strong enough for them to make a positive change.

When someone is given the ability to feel regret or worry that anything they might have done could have hurt someone they care about, then that means they have a conscience.

Since we’re talking about you, the ability to feel is a blessing from Above. It means that you’re truly working on improving your relationship with Him, and you’re being shown how to act and how not to act. You’re also learning how to be gentler towards others which is wonderful. Your goal should always be to treat people with fairness, because God loves those who are just and merciful towards His creation. Your heart sounds warm, and that is a blessing from your Creator.

Always say, “O turner of the hearts, make my heart firm on your religion.”

The heart is a powerful vessel. Having the ability to feel profoundly is a blessing. As you grow closer to God, you’ll come to learn that these feelings are a profound part of your journey. From them, your compassion will increase, and your heart will continue to become warmer. They’re meant to bring you closer to Him.

Stay blessed.

Sincerely,

Chereen