Q+A: Fell for a married man
Written by: Chereen
Q: Assalamu Alaikum.
I am 22 and i fell in love with a person who’s married, and it has been 4 years since dating him. I know it’s wrong but i can’t forget him. I’m madly in love with him. But, I am afraid of Allahs wrath, and I don’t know what to do now.
A: Wa Alaykum Assalam dear.
Something immediately stood out to me in your question. He’s married to someone else, but has been dating you for not just a couple of months, but for 4 years. Does that not worry you? Because aside from everything else, that worries me. I don’t advocate for it, but why has he not married you yet if you’re madly in love?
Look out for yourself, because clearly you have not been doing so. Maybe he has been feeding you promises, but none of these promises are guaranteeing you closeness to God. I don’t like to say it, but this is what is called cheating. To put it bluntly, it’s selfish of both you and him because neither of you are thinking about his wife who may or may not be oblivious to the situation.
It’s not that you don’t know what to do, it’s that you don’t want to do it. When someone says to fear God, they don’t say it to scare you of God. What it means is that you fear doing anything to upset God out of love for Him. Rather than fearing only His wrath, fear the disconnect you have created because your focus has been on solely making yourself happy.
In this situation, you have to stop feeding your desires and think about the people you are hurting and your future. There are two futures you are sacrificing: the one that continues to come at you as an opportunity to change, and your hereafter. What I can tell you is that you have to do what you don’t want to do and end it. If he’s been dating you for 4 years without a ring on your finger, where will you be in ten years from now?
Also, if tomorrow was your last day, would you be content with how you left this world? It’s time you think about that, instead of temporary satisfactions. Everyone makes mistakes and it’s not too late to repent and do right, but that’s only possible when you make yourself do it.
I ask God to grant you the strength you need to rid your heart of unwanted visitors. ❤️