Q+A: Finding comfort in you

Written by: Chereen

Q: Asalamualikum, hope you’re doing well. I’m a shy person and there are times when I want to speak my mind, but I end up not saying it and it makes me angry. Why am I so timid? I want to be confident and say what I think, stand up for myself. How can I overcome this shyness? I want to be more vocal and confident. I want to go to places alone and speak. I’m tired of hiding behind people, I want to be my own self.

A: Wa Alaykum Assalam, I sense a few things.

I feel as if you resent yourself, and you’re also afraid of getting out of your comfort zone that you have built over the years. You mentioned that you want to become more confident which has me feeling that it might be more internal for you rather than external. It might be that you’re also hiding from yourself.

Being shy is not a bad trait to have, but you must be in control of it. I feel that it might be important for you to force yourself out of your comfort zone by being vocal and on your own. I know you might think the worst but really it won’t be as traumatizing as you imagine.

In order to grow, you have to overcome obstacles and do things you didn’t think you could do. Don’t limit yourself.

Also, make sure to communicate with yourself more and accept who you are. If you really want to accomplish these goals then you must be willing to confront yourself, accept both your good and bad, and be willing to move forward in your own shoes.