Q+A: First hurdle ended marriage

Q: How do you move on from an ex-spouse who left you after the first hurdle in your marriage?

A: Move on or gain closure?

Often times, we expect for the other person to give us the closure we need in order to move on. But here’s the thing: moving forward is more important than moving on. Moving forward is something you give to yourself, because you’re able to work through the pain and emotions and feel at peace. If you were to revisit the wound, it wouldn’t hurt and you would feel strong enough to handle the memory.

Give yourself time and be patient with yourself. Forgive for the sake of your heart and for the sake of your happiness. Don’t carry the burden in your heart; it’ll weigh you down. This experience isn’t a reflection of future experiences, but it might require time for you to fully feel that. Until then, focus on taking care of yourself and growing. Your separation was traumatic and difficult, but the small steps you’re taking do matter. Be kind to yourself and celebrate your healing process. There are good people in this world, and hopefully your life will be blessed with the right one and at the right time.