Q+A: Love yourself

Written by: Chereen

Dear Chereen,

I have a question regarding how to cope with a break up where cheating, lying, and manipulation was involved? Where he also ended up marrying the girl he cheated with?

This hit my self-esteem of course massively; it’s been two years and it still affects me every day. How to move forward?

Thank you for your help.

Love your page!

Sincerely,

P

Dear Friend,

As I read this, I sit here and think that you were protected from something that could have been even worse after marriage, and that is a relief. This is definitely not dismissing what you have been through, because it seems as if it was incredibly traumatic and painful.

I want you to know that what happened says more about him than it does about you. It’s understandable that you would allow it to affect you because you put your best foot forward and probably did your best to be a wonderful companion.

Healing takes time, but it might be time for you to no longer blame yourself for his shortcomings. You must accept that his choice isn’t because you are not a wonderful person, because I bet that you are amazing.

I do sense some trauma, and it may be difficult for you to trust after this experience. I want you to know that it’s okay to feel that way, because you’ve been through something pretty intense. However, do your best to take care of yourself. Make an extra effort to love yourself and reach out to those who genuinely appreciate you.

Take baby steps forward, even if you feel like you’re slowly moving. Every single step counts. As usual, I am going to recommend the possibility of seeing a counselor or a well experienced life coach. It’s time to embrace yourself and move forward.

Never let someone else’s shortcomings define how you feel about yourself. You are a lot greater than you realize.

Sincerely,

Chereen