Q+A: Misunderstood
Written by: Chereen
Dear Chereen,
How should one deal with being ignored by someone? It really hurts, because I was misunderstood and made to look like I was at fault when in fact the other one wronged me. It’s just after confronting them they made up excuses and when I didn’t believe them and didn’t let go that easily I just hit blocked.
I kind of think this person isn’t worth it but I thought so highly of them before and can’t believe they are acting like this now. I’d like to talk about it and clear up possible misunderstandings, but the person blocked me on social media and avoids me in general. All I did was call them out on inappropriate behavior?
Can’t I say they hurt me without risking them to leave? I am so hurt and confused and just cannot believe and accept that things ended like this. But they won’t let me solve it. I feel stuck and have this heavy feeling in my stomach and heart. Sorry if this is too long!
Sincerely,
S
Dear Friend,
It appears you are dealing with disappointment, feeling misunderstood, and ending a friendship or relationship on a sour note. It also sounds like you somewhat regret how you reacted, but you also feel as though the friendship might not have been meant to continue.
I sense mixed emotions that are weighing you down. I wonder, is it closure that you want? Would it help you to sit down with them and discuss openly and honestly how you feel? I also sense a bit of hope that has you feeling like there might be potential to reconcile.
It seems that you cannot be open and honest with them about how you feel without them taking it the wrong way, which leads me to understand that there might be a lack of communication, understanding, and possibly empathy.
Give it some time. Let the emotions calm down, and if you feel it is worth it, approach them. Don’t do the conversation over messages, but actually sit down and communicate. Also, try not to put the blame on them but make it a point to have a mature and beneficial conversation. If they don’t accept, you did what you could and that means a lot. If they do and the friendship or relationship is not salvaged, then you can calmly close the chapter and move forward.
I wish you well.
Sincerely,
Chereen