Q+A: Obsessed with my child
Written by: Chereen
Q: I’m a new mom and have realized that I have an issue with others trying to have an intimate relationship with my child; such as aunts etc. I feel like they were too obsessed with my child and it makes me feel uncomfortable.
They were trying to say they were “like a mom” to my child which did not sit well with me. I don’t know how to overcome these feelings and still don’t want them being close to my child.
Where can this stem from?
A: It stems from being a new mom that recently protected a child in her womb for 10 months (40 weeks). It’s absolutely normal to feel protective, because you worked hard to bring your child into this world.
However, it’s okay for them to hold your child and be kind to him or her. Whenever you feel uncomfortable, take your child back. They clearly love your child, but of course it’ll take getting used to having others around your child that are obsessed.
If it bothers you a lot, just make sure to talk to the baby in front of them and say something like “You want your wonderful Aunt to hold you?” In doing so, you reiterate their role. The more people that love your baby the better, but make sure to understand, process, and accept your emotions before you let people in.
As to where it stemmed from, what’s your marriage like? How supportive were they before you had a child? Do you feel like they genuinely care about you? What are they like with other kids?
There’s a plethora of reasons you could feel the way you do, or it could just simply be becoming a new Mama and feeling territorial over what you brought into this world (and that’s absolutely alright to feel).