Q+A: Trust in what’s written

Written by: Chereen

Q: Assalamu 3alaikum,

I have been trying to convince my family to let me marry someone I chose and I have fallen in love with, but they refused to give him a chance for the past 3 years and are now asking me to move on and give other people a chance. How do I do that when I have built so much hope and outlined my future into this relationship? How do I not think about this person when I communicate with other guys knowing my family didn’t give him a legit chance for Allahs sake?

A: Wa Alaykum Assalam,

I can’t tell you not to think about him but I can tell you to be present. Focus on the here and now by simply focusing on what’s here right now. There’s nothing wrong with considering proposals. You are putting stress on yourself because you want something specific to happen, and as you mentioned, a lot of hope was invested. It’s not a bad thing to be hopeful. It’s actually great. However, I have noticed that the best way to be hopeful is to simply hope for the best from God. This way, if something is given or taken, you know it’s for the ultimate best. You have to remember that it’s been written. The pen has been lifted and the ink has dried.

Be easy on yourself. It might help you to do istikhara during this time, but try your best to do it without being biased. InshaAllah you will have peace of mind soon!