Q+A: Why walking away is okay

Written by: Chereen

Dear Chereen,

I walked away from a ten year friendship recently because my friend was emotionally abusive. Claiming she was my best friend but she’d mock me every chance she got. Telling my other friends my secrets. Not inviting me to things because I didn’t invite her once to a family gathering. Calling me names then laughing if I got upset. So I don’t understand if she’s just immature or mean because she’s 25. I recently got engaged and she made fun of my fiancé’s family so I had enough after saying multiple times to her to stop being so mean. I walked away. I don’t want to talk to her it gives me anxiety if I think of her. Am I right or wrong? I feel better now that she’s out of my life.

Yours,
J

Dear friend,

It sounds like you went through an emotional roller coaster that is finally coming to a full stop. It also seems like your former friend is struggling internally with her own circumstances that have made her less pleasant.

However, it seems like you might have been aware of this, which is why you stuck around for longer than you should have. It isn’t your obligation to invest in someone else if they don’t treat you kindly, because then the atmosphere becomes toxic for you.

Should you walk away without saying something? Or should you give them an explanation? There’s no right or wrong answer that would broadly solve any similar situation because it’s important to do what is best for your mental health and wellness.

In an effort to salvage the friendship, it does seem like you gave her multiple warnings. Sometimes walking away silently is a lot better than uttering words you cannot take back. This is especially true if a person is set on not understanding or respecting what you have to say.

I could tell you that you need to let her know what she did was wrong, but it seems you have mentioned it and she did not listen. In this case, you know better than anyone else. If you feel that this is how it has to be then so be it. You should never feel as though you have to stick around where you are not respected, especially if you are emotionally abused. You can walk away in order to reclaim your peace.

Although arguments are inevitable, friendships are meant to be a source of positivity and happiness for you. If that doesn’t seem to be the case, then it’s your right to reevaluate the relationship.

Sincerely,
Chereen

©️DearChereen