The waiting game

The waiting game

Written by: Khadeja


We spend most of our lives waiting–for the bus, for the light to turn green, for our next paycheck, and for the weekend or big trip. We are always after the next big thing. It’s as if our lives are a trophy room and we are only focused on collecting various awards to fill that room up. It’s admirable to have ambitions and be constantly striving for more, however, the scale must remain balanced by also being content and happy with what you have and where you are at each moment in time.

This is easier said than done when you are placed in a situation that you really don’t want to be in, so you commence to climb, crawl, and sprint to put distance between you and the undesirable situation. Sometimes this is easy; you are unhappy with your job to the point of anxiety, so you decide that today is the day that you channel that energy towards a solution and start job hunting.

Other situations require patience…and waiting. The simple act of waiting can become painful and even drive you to doubt that you will ever reach your goal which makes you even more attached to the goal to the point of obsession. You forget all the good things that you have and instead fixate on what is missing from your life. By the time you are closer to your goal–when you can actually see the light at the end of the tunnel–you are emotionally spent. You have built it up so much in your mind and in your heart that you are unable to feel the joy and appreciate your goal coming to life. I have come to realize that I am my own joy killer, unable to live in the moment and enjoy my current state as long as there is something else “under processing.” I have experienced this phenomena with different aspects of my life. I get so obsessed with achieving a specific milestone that I slowly kill any associated joy along the way until I am indifferent upon reaching my destination.

Life is not static. It is constantly evolving and shifting, and quite frankly, it is hard to keep up with all the changes. My personal struggle has been achieving balance, having a goal but also enjoying the joys and blessings in my life–a warm embrace from my husband after a long day at work, the smell of freshly cut grass, and the love that surrounds me, all of which are blessings from God. When all is said and done and our time is up, do we really want to say that we spent our life waiting?

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