“Why?” can’t I ask? 

Written by: Chereen

It is a challenge to be accepting of your tough circumstances yet also remain hopeful that things will change for the better. Maybe it is because we have a fear of disappointment when life does not go as planned. It could be a failed expectation that once let you down, making it impossible for you to see the light in any adversity again. A lot of it is losing faith, whether in God or yourself or both.

I was visiting a friend whose husband passed away a few years ago. We were talking about the passing of my father, and how I did not question it. She asked me how I did that, and I simply replied with, “.قدر الله و ما شاء فعل”

This translates to, “God has willed it, and what He has willed will happen.” It was the phrase that echoed in my heart. Those words kept me sane. Because I understood them, I found no reason to ask “Why?” I believed that if I did ask “Why?” I would be questioning God, and it was more important for me to have His support. I needed my faith to keep me going, and everything I had learned about faith taught me that any trial was within reason.

She paused for a bit and then told me that her daughter asks “Why?” a lot. I realized it came from her having trouble accepting the reality of the situation, and from the loneliness that came with being a young teen without fatherly support. She never received the answer she was looking for. The truth is there was no specific response she was expecting. Because no response would bring back her father, and no answer would make up for the lost time. This was part of what made me stop asking “Why?” during times of adversity. I never knew what response I was looking for, or if I was actually looking for one to begin with.
I never question why the rose is red and not orange, because it just makes sense. I do not ask God “Why?” when a blessing is bestowed upon me. When I get my way, I instinctively feel like life is going as planned. Prosperity makes a person question less, and breathe a lot more. Adversity makes a person lose hope, and dwell in their circumstance. Or so it’s expected. It takes balance to put away the “Why?” when a trial strikes and to simply be accepting of fate. It takes so much effort to be able to remain hopeful, and to say to oneself, “.تفاءلوا بالخير تجدوه”

“Believe in goodness and you will find it.”

I know that it can be tempting to simply shout at the sky and ask “Why me?” or “Why did he have to leave us so soon?” It can be tempting, but the temptation ends once you realize you have gone in circles with yourself. It is soothing to remember that the pens have been lifted and the ink has dried. As difficult as it is to see the light in a trying circumstance, the light at the end of the tunnel comes from the torch you have lit. It is up to me and up to you to decide how long that dark tunnel is, before the light of faith is lit and you are reminded that everything will be okay. Even though there are missing pieces and painful wounds, it will all make sense once it is meant to be. How it makes sense and when it makes sense is not what matters. What matters is how you kept your faith, your heart, your soul, and your sanity intact, amidst your inability to fully understand, “Why?”